August update - Push less, pull more
I write this in a very average mood. I'm not depressed or angry or anxious. Rather, I'm tired and lacking any desire to do anything that would normally interest me.
There has been quite a bit of action here at TKM. We have finally been awarded our registered charity number which means that every single piece of red tape has been covered off, and every hoop jumped. We are 100% official. This is an amazing feat of co-operation and teamwork, and I'm grateful for the other trustees and non-exec members to get us this far. We have an amazing partner network that is now providing great coverage across the north island, and making inroads into south island.
I know that I should be more excited than I feel. The reality is, I'm tired. I know I'm not depressed, anxious, or struggling with PTSD any more or less than normal. I guess its the fact that despite the 18 months of effort TKM has quite literally, made it to the starting blocks. As part of this period, we've had to overcome the trials and tribulations of COVID, unemployment (or the fear of), the stresses of putting food on the table and providing for family, the sudden and unexpected death of a friend and TKM trustee, and another trustee who last weekend was in hospital. It has really knocked the wind from my sails.
In these times, it is very natural for me to push people away, isolate myself and wait for the dullness to pass. However, I also recognise that this is quite arguably the last thing I should be doing. Rather than push people and life away, I should be pulling myself into it, surrounding myself with those who will listen, support and not judge.
It goes to show that despite all best efforts, it is still entirely possible to have a crap periods.
So with this, I write to you to ask for your help. What do you do when you feel like this and how do you get yourself out of it?